Devil pills, A bitch named Estrogen and the IUD named Gertrude!

Well, among all the jobless drama, I've figured it was high time to at least work on the current hot mess I have on my hands. Me. I realized slowly over this last year that clearly... devil pills aka BC pills, were not my friend. Yes, they may keep face craters at bay and shorter the rag time each month but....so what. They suck! Not only have they made me bat shit crazy, they have added to my already annoying battle with weight loss. F any pill that makes me a bloated bitch! Why it took 7 years to figure out, I don't know. So I have chosen the IUD, my little friend Gertrude. My friend JW and I decided to name our IUD's since we talked about them so often. She is an IUD Veteran. I would say that having the IUD I had "installed" last week was the worst pain ever aside from the kidney stone I gave birth to when I was 15. Now that shit hurt, but so did this.. Especially the part they call sounding. They have to stick a 900 foot rod thing into the vag canal all the way to the top, where nothing should ever go EVER.. and use some blue device thing that measures your cervix size. It hurt like a bitch and I thought I might hit that gyno!! I only said "holy shit" 3 times though and only dropped one "MF" through it all.

My reasons for all this IUD business is because of the bitch that is estrogen!! I guess my body made too much of that bitch to begin with, and on top of taking devil pills, it was making my mind and body a total and complete disaster!

Aside from hating the gyno, I am also a huge dentist hater but the day this midwife/gyno installed Gertrude, I hated her just as much!! And what the F is up with doctors trying to make chit chat about your dog while stabbing my cervix?? NO! I do not want to discuss my dogs size, breed and color while you have a rod in me that you very well know is about to stab me with agonizing pain. Then she proceeds to ask "So where do you work?" HA, really? I am not even going to get into that topic. What a joke. It almost hurt more having to tell her there was NO job as she poked and prodded. Just stop talking! THIS is not a time to chat! At a moment like that, I'd prefer to hear her say "This is going to hurt like a mother fucker" I really wish I was internet cool and had followers because I have questions...things that yahoo answers and google just can't answer....I swear I ask google everything I ever wonder. Last week I even googled "neon yellow urine" and google finished my own question for me and sure enough it was due to the B Complex I had taken the day before. I heart google but damn...I want a human being to answer my questions sometimes!

So anyway...What I want to know is does anyone have experience with coming off the devil pill and the moody hell that follows????? When does the demon inside finally go away??? Estrogen and messing with it, is one evil bitch of a time!!! This past week I have had to use Xanax and Wine in mass quantities to quiet down the demon. Without my two loves, I'm sure I would've put several holes in walls and broken many things I would later be pissed I broke because I bought those things, with MY own money....the money that I used to make when I actually had a damn job. To whoever reads this, all 2 of you....please feel free to comment and try and help me with remedies to force the demon within to die already! In the meantime, it's just me and the Pinot G!

JJ