Empower your shower!!!!

So I've been driving a lot more these past few days. Due to the fact that I've started talking to my almost deaf boston terrier, I figured it was time to get out this week. So I have made it a point to go places. It seems as though I have the best thoughts, ideas, and questions while driving, naturally. The iphone, which is still new to me, is impossible to use when even the slightest bit distracted. I am not an advocate for texting and driving but I used to send the occasional text while in traffic or at a light. Not anymore. I now have to call my mother or a friend and ask them to jot down whats in my head if i feel it's an emergency thought. Today I was driving and thought about the weirdest shit. Just questions and curiosities. For instance:

WHY am I only thinking of awesome questions to write about when I am physically unable to write it down?? Why I am digging deep right now to remember them when clearly I will remember at 3:25 am when I am half asleep or next Tuesday while in a pool mid swim? Why?

Why is it that while in a dressing room at stores, something can look damn awesome and you can see yourself in it next month, with pumps you bought 7 months ago that you STILL haven't worn, at an imaginary outing with friends that probably won't occur.... then when you get home and put it on with the awesome shirt you thought you'd be "the shit" in, it suddenly looks so terrible and ridiculous? OR have you ever been in a dressing room and somehow convinced yourself that the only reason the outfit you came to the store in looks less awesome then earlier is due to the faulty lighting of the store? Yes, that store had bad lighting and somehow I had cellulite while shopping that was not there at home earlier! FURTHERMORE, WHY do stores have such shitty lighting to begin with? Do you want me to buy these bad ass jeans???? Well turn off that awful florescent lighting and I just might see a super model in the mirror and we both win. Clothing discussion ends HERE.






I might add that if I could relay what I think about in the shower...while on here, I'd be famous. I think of the best shit while washing my ass. The thoughts run so quickly while in the shower too. Almost too fast for me to keep up with as I bathe. I also wondered today...why is it when you break up with someone, they end up better off than you, when you left them for a better life? Or is that just the BS that is better known as Facebook these days? F facebook for the ability to know all about it. The thing is though, I can make you think I am so awesome and bad ass too, just from posting lies on facebook if i choose to. I hate facebook, but no one can really avoid it. I'm forced to know all about ex's and old friends and their awesome lives and I wonder how many of them just BS us all. FB discussion ends HERE!

Why is it my DVR is on PAUSE more than it is on PLAY? Don't get me wrong, I watch the hell out of DVR and don't know how I ever lived without it (post on DVR alone to follow) but here is the deal...I cannot focus if ANYTHING else is going on in the house. I do not understand people that watch a show while doing 876 other things. I feel the need to pause for everything. I pause to email someone back, to go to the fridge, to the bathroom, even to go to the store (even for 4 + hours), to take a nap, to work out. I pause so much. I should turn things off when I am away that long but why? It's just too fun to pause. DVR is my BFF, well and my almost deaf Boston terrier.

Why is it that I cannot master hand eye coordination??? Am I going to have to watch my Zumba DVD 8 times before I can get this shit down? Seriously, if anyone could watch me try to do this business they'd laugh their ass off. If I only I could literally laugh my ass off. Why do people say that? It really makes no sense if you think about it, but how awesome it would be. I don't see a point to this post tonight and I will probably feel the need to delete tomorrow but for all 4 people out there, I hope you feel me.

JJ