I have been through a world of shit since the new year started. First a bunch of crime shit started going on in my neighborhood. I had to wake up one morning to a sound that resembled a fucking gorilla banging my front door down for 15 minutes. It was 4 am and it scared the shit out of me and I find out later there was a home invasion maybe 30 mins later on the street behind mine. Some guy actually answered his door. What is wrong with you, sir??
Later in January my washing machine decided to explode and flood my entire downstairs, completely destroying my laminate floor. Awesome.
I'm thinking...well this sucks but I always hated this awful checkered kitchen floor. So this douche named Randy comes to do "restoration" to the house and tells me insurance will pay for it all so lets get this damage cost jacked up as much as possible to get us both money. This guy is a crook asshole liar to the core. Nothing he said made sense and I could tell he was a crook MF... but in a moment of crisis standing in 5 inches of water, I would've gone with any asshole to get that shit cleaned up.
Randy, I hope your asshole explodes tonight and burns with a never ending shit fire. This douche changed his price 9876598 times based on what he thought i would or wouldn't get back from insurance.
In the end...he claims I owe 1oK for drying out the downstairs. he planted 27 huge annoying loud ass fans in my house and turned off all but 6 half way through yet would NOT remove them and then claims to be owed 10K for the use of the awful machines that forced me out of my house for several days..Randy you are a bad person.
Back to the drama. So I'm thinking all is well and insurance will cover this mess, then I find out that I am an idiot and when I chose my home owners insurance deal I didn't know what the F I was doing and chose the cheapest monthly plan...which just happened to be 5% of dwelling which is 230,000...not even close to the value of the house. (its way less) So there we have it, a deductible of 12,000! SERIOUSLY??? slfhlsfdlfhgliaugouyfius fusyfiusfgsfhsoufh gdliagf/snbodhyglshaLOHcfa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a side note, let me mention that if you are in a crisis, and standing in 5 inches of water...you STILL have to go through the automated voice system bullshit and politely answer the lady and then hear "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that..." at which point you want to say "F you automated asshole lady... I said YESSSSSSS!" Just sayin'....but more on that later...
So lets fast forward a few weeks. I have taken off a total of 2 days...and after being at a job since October Ive used almost all the vaca time I have. I hate hate HATE this accrued vaca time. its like a tiny dot of time every two weeks and if you never take a day off EVER....you may get an entire week after two f-ing years.
So I got sick last week from all the lovely Texas May-June weather we have had plus the thick dust clouds from my house. I can't take any time off but at least the work in my house was almost done and came to a total of 2500 MORE than what I got from insurance. Let me tell you....if I hadn't been such a cheap douche 4 years ago, I would have gotten back enough to do my floors and even replace my outdated hideous counter tops.
So the house bullshit is FINALLY over. I clean everything Friday night for like 6 hours and dust off the 4 inches of funk that has landed on absolutely EVERYTHING....I am starting to feel normal again when....after only TWO days of a house that's semi normal... my water heater decides to be a bitch and leak...all over! ......................REALLY?!
Is water out to kill me? Yes it is.
So lets call my home "PROTECTION" plan...and once again we have the AUTOMATED voice service...
......with every number this fake lady asks me to press...OR SAY...I hear drip drip drip...and hissing from the scorching hot water heater that looks like its about to explode and blow up my house. I am speaking to this fake lady as I feel my house about to collapse right in front of me and I'm yelling at her and annoyed as all hell! I feel she is a real person and I hate her for taking so long to put me to another person(s).
The finale of this boring story is that when your home warranty people tell you that you are "covered" or you are "protected" ...you are being lied to and they are assholes.
"Yes, we totally cover your new water heater ma'am...but there will be a city permit fee of 250, and 3 water fees for the city each costing 125, a disposal fee of $80 to carry from attic to garage.. but yes...you are covered ma'am"
YOU ARE A LIAR HOME PROTECTION LADY....600 bucks is hardly protection. And Randy the "restoration guy with 27 fans....REALLY??? Your fans tortured me and I was almost satisfied to live with no floors if it meant your fans were GONE forever!!! I even had a second opinion come out and that guy thought we had 20 fans too many.
People are assholes. period. I have seen it too much in two months time to think otherwise. Don't trust insurance people or the automated liar lady who doesn't give a shit if you are standing in fire as long as you PRESS or SAY "1".
Also I really hate "Spring forward" time change. This has nothing to do with anything but it adds to my tortuous Jan-March drama. You see, I enjoy dark at 630 knowing I still have the whole night. I don't like that at 845 its still light and i know it's almost shower time...and speaking of shower time...now its time for cold showers since i have no water heater.
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